The Pop Culture Addict presents... Television

October 21, 2004

OPEN CHANNEL S...FOR SELLOUT!: THE CONTINUOUS FALL OF ROBERT VAUGHN

Join with me tonight friends as I shed a tear for Robert Vaughn. Oh, dear Robert, where did it all go so wrong for you? Have you sunk the lowest that you can go?

Allow me to explain.

Robert Vaughn is not a fantastic actor. He never really was. In fact, it is rather fair to say that he is possibly the most cardboard actor in the history of film/television. However, I have always rather liked Robert Vaughn for that fact alone. He has a certain cardboard charm. He's surefire and he's steady. He always delivers what you expect from him. You don't expect much from Robert Vaughn, but he'll never disappoint. Robert Vaughn, if anything, is likeable - even when playing the villain.

He started off with much promise. Gaining his first film gig as an extra in The Ten Commandments was quite a good deal. But his first attention breaking role was playing the part of paranoid gentleman gunfighter Lee in The Magnificent Seven alongside Steve McQueen, Yul Brinner, Charles Bronson, Eli Wallach, and James Coburn. Easily one of the best westerns ever made, Vaughn gave the performance of his life. In fact, the character ‘Lee’ was the inspiration for Alice Cooper's song "Desperado" ("I wear lace and I wear black leather"). Yes, getting that Magnificent Seven gig was a promising move, very promising indeed.

Who would guess that that would be the end of Vaughn's good luck?

Next stop – The Man From U.N.C.L.E. Vaughn was cast to star as Napoleon Solo in a series originated by James Bond creator Ian Fleming. During the spy crazy sixties it was sure to be a hit - and it was! Napoleon Solo was the defining role of his career! So that would be good - right? Nope. Vaughn had to share the screen with what was to be his "co-star" David McCallum as Russian spy Illiya Kuriakin. More charismatic, more charming and a far better actor, McCallum stole the show. Soon the plots became focused around McCallum's character and he became the shows sex symbol and quickly donned the walls of teenage girls all over the world. Robert Vaughn had to surrender the role as 'the other guy on the Man From U.N.C.L.E.". One would wonder if he and Larry Wilcox ever hung out later on to drink and gripe about their bad luck with charismatic co-stars.

Once U.N.C.L.E. was over Robert Vaughn was still in the public eye so what do you do next? Well, Vaughn knew that you had to break into movies again, and so he did. This time playing second fiddle, again, to Steve McQueen in Bullit. I've seen Bullit. I don't remember him being in it. I remember Norman "Mr. Roper" Fell being in it but I don't remember Robert Vaughn. That's how much of an impression he made. This would continue for decades. Vaughn would play forgettable roles in Superman movies (but not the good ones) and Chuck Norris vehicles. Robert Vaughn was eternally always the bridesmaid and never the bride.

Next stop for Robert Vaughn? The purgatory known as television mini-series. Sure, some of them were great such as Roots and The Thorn Birds but he wasn't in those. Sure, Vaughn did get an Emmy award for Washington: Behind Closed Doors. Good for him! Shows that cardboard endurance does pay off! But mini-series and TV movies are pretty much death to actors. I mean who wants to sink to the level of Judith Light, Meredith Baxter Bernie, and Valerie Bertanelli?

Then, in 1985, Robert Vaughn got another potential big break! The producers from the hit television show The A-Team gave him a call. After four years the show was about to take a bold and new direction! After running from the military since 1972 the A-Team was now going to work for the government! Oh yeah! And guess who was going to play the teams new boss/babysitter! You got it! Robert Vaughn! Great idea - right? Wrong! The fans completely hated the idea! The season ended prematurely after twelve ill fated episodes and the show went off the air. Fans cursed Vaughn for killing the show. They had to realize that blaming Robert Vaughn was like shooting the messenger but are you going to argue with an angry mob of A-Team fans? God knows I'm not.

So he was outshined on a hit show, damned to mini-series purgatory, and was the scapegoat for killing a classic show. How much lower can you sink? Here it comes folks…the world of soap operas. Robert Vaughn joined the cast of As The World Turns in the early nineties. Oh Robert, Robert, Robert. How could you do that? Paired with unmemorable roles in moronic films such as BASEketball, Joe's Apartment and the "classic" Pootie Tang, it looked like Robert Vaughn had sunk as low as he could go, or so one would think.

However, tonight at 3:30am I saw Robert Vaughn in a commercial for a Michigan lawyer/ambulance chaser by the name of Sam Bernstein talking about that if I was injured in a car accident and suffered head trauma that Sam Bernstein would get tough with embezzling insurance companies if I just picked up the phone and called 1-800-CALL-SAM. Oh dear god! I mean, couldn't he had just done infomercials or a commercial for adjustable beds or something. I mean, they are far more respectable than a bloody 1-800 lawyer! I mean, that's just the worst as you can get - isn't it?

Now, I have to say Robert Vaughn, seeing you do that commercial hurt me. Why? Because, dammit, I like you! Perhaps I am critical of your career but I like you. I liked Napoleon Solo. I like when I see you on television and in films no matter how big or small the part. If I pick you out I always say "Gee! Look! It's Robert Vaughn! He's no Marlon Brando but, gosh darn it, I like him!" I don't expect the world from you Robert Vaughn but I expect more from you than doing some local state 1-800 ambulance chaser ad. Seriously. Pull yourself together man. Pull yourself together.

As I said friends, join me tonight as I shed a tear for Robert Vaughn.

(POP CULTURE ADDICT NOTE: With this said, apparently Robert Vaughn has had some success in recent years in British television and radio. most notably on the British series Hustle. Good for him. I honestly hope Europe is kinder to him than North America was. However, it still doesn't curb my disappointment.)