July 25th, 2005

THE LITTLEST HOBO:  FAMILY FUN OR HARBINGER OF DOOM?

Its been a while now since we've heard anything about the Ontario government's proposed ban on Pit Bulls and other violent breeds of dogs.  However, I am sure its just a matter of time before another random dog attack will occur and the issue of banning a breed of dog or not will once again hit our headlines.  Earlier this week I was thinking a bit about the issue of dog attacks.  Now, as most of you know I am generally not a fan of the beasts.  I mean, I can co-exist and even be rather attached to dogs but I just want them to go to their own home by the end of the day.  My motto is, "Why have a dog when you can have a cat?"  Anyhow, in the case of the violent dog attacks that have taken place in Canada, the Canadian government blames the breed of the dog saying that the violence is in their nature.  Meanwhile, dog owners say that bad dog ownership is to blame, arguing that the dog was trained to be violent.  However, I have come to the conclusion that in the case of Canadian dog attacks it is not the fault of the breed or the owner.  No.  Who is to blame?  Personally I blame the creators, directors and writers of the classic Canadian family drama "The Littlest Hobo".  That's right!  They are the real enemy in the case of Canadian dog attacks.

Now hear me out folks....

While I know that pretty much everyone who ever lived in Canada grew up on "The Littlest Hobo," lets refresh our memories on the premise and fill in our international friends.  Each week London, a super intelligent stray German Sheppard, would wander into some unsuspecting person's life.  This person, without any questions, would take the strange dog (who seemed far too well fed and groomed for a stray) into their homes.  However, the person in question would have some sort of problem that would be the premise of the plot of that weeks episode.  Within a half an hour London would catch the crook, reunite the family, or find the missing heirloom and money and, seeing that his new temporary owner was happy, he would know his work was done and would take off down the lonely highway with his owner questioning where he was going.  Cue music...."maybe tomorrow I'll wanna settle down.  Until tomorrow I'll just keep moving on."  Fade to black.

Now, what did the adventures of the Littlest Hobo teach numerous generations of Canadian children?  Did it teach them the value of friendship, love and being kind to our animal friends?  No.  What it taught them is that if a strange dog comes into their yard that it will be their friend and solve all their problems within a half an hour!  That's what it taught them!  No wonder Canadian tots are being mauled by dogs that wander into their yard.  See, little Timmy from Sarnia is playing in his sandbox when some strange dog walks into his yard and he all of a sudden thinks that its going to get his father to stop drinking and his mother to come home.  He goes to make friends with it and CHOMP!  Little Timmy's severed arm is now in the dogs mouth, which is running away down the lonely highway.  Cue music......"maybe tomorrow I'll wanna settle down......."

Let me tell you - if some stray German Sheppard shows up in MY yard I'm calling animal control.

So hear me Dalton McGinty and Prime Minister Martin.  You can blame the breed of the dog or the bad owners if you want but it was Canada's brand of good ol' fashioned family entertainment that created our problem with dog attacks.  The creators of "The Littlest Hobo" are to blame.  Now, if the show had been about a cat wandering around solving peoples problems that might have been another story.  Mind you, the cat wouldn't solve anybody's problems unless you fed it first....and even then it probably would stick around after the problem was solved for more food.