"YOU OOZE.  YOU LOSE":  IN SEARCH OF THE ORIGINAL MIGHTY MORPHIN POWER RANGERS

In the lunchroom at work there is a television. It has a satellite hook up but to actually find anything on it is so inane that I rarely deal much with it. However, as a result, I am usually stuck watching whatever anybody else is watching. I usually end up watching stuff that you would never see on the television in my own home - hockey, wrestling, “Passions”, “Jenny Jones”, TSN, “The Bachelor”, “Will and Grace”....the list goes on and on. Actually, it would surprise most people who know me that I am not much of a television watcher anyhow.  I rarely watch network television, opting for the DVD's without commercials.   

Anyhow, today at work one of the younger guys from another department turned on the original “Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers” movie. You all remember “The Power Rangers” - right? I think the show might still be on in one form or another. However, in 1993 we couldn't escape them. Yup, its been more than ten years since the Power Rangers fad.  It doesn't seem all that long ago does it?

Now, when “The Power Rangers” came out I was too old for that stuff; I was seventeen. As everybody knows, I still love to watch cartoons and anything dealing with superheroes in general but “The Power Rangers” held no appeal to me. I found it garish, plotless, vile, and campy (and not a good kind of camp - the bad kind). I remember taking some sort of interest at first, thinking that it looked a bit like the old Kroft “Superstars” programs from the 1970's but quickly realized it held none of the charm of the Kroft productions and quickly decided it wasn't something I was interested in perusing.  However, one spoilt child at my mother’s daycare was obsessed with “The Power Rangers”. He had the toys, the videos, and the clothes so I had a bit of exposure to the show and I assimilated some Power Ranger knowledge in my sub-conscious. It’s scary what has been retained up there over the years.

So here we all were today in the lunch room at work, a number of adults, watching the Power Ranger movie. I can't say that my opinion on the Rangers have changed at all. I still found it vile, corny, phony, and utterly plotless, and I think I may have hated it more now than I did when I was seventeen. There was this one moment in particular that made me want to slash my wrists. The Power Rangers are fighting these blue skinned alien things with their handy dandy martial arts skills but they are in their civilian ID's. Basically they are a group of jocular pretty boys and perky cheerleaders with ninja moves. Anyway one of the guys - the one in the glasses - punches an alien to the ground and puts his fist through him. As the fist comes out of the alien it’s covered with sticky, goopy gunk. The power ranger guy exclaims, "you ooze, you lose."

"You ooze. You lose."

Christ almighty!  That's dialogue to inspire an entire generation - isn't it! I wanted to bash my head off of the table I was sitting at by the sound of those four simple words - "You ooze. You lose." That doesn't even make sense! I have no idea why I took it so personally but it hurts me that such witless and dumb dialogue like that could ever be written. You know - I now remember why I often hate family entertainment films. They are almost always filled with terrible one liners and puns; lines like, "You ooze.  You lose."

Anyway, after my break was over I went back to work and I began to wonder just whatever happened to the kids from “The Power Rangers”.  Where are Billy, Zack, Tommy, Kimberly, Trina, and Jason today? I mean - those kids were HOT at one time. I remember that they did a live show at the Skydome in Toronto and it literally sold out! Imagine the Skydome filled with thousands and thousands of screaming spoiled kids and their poor, poor henpecked parents watching five amateur actors flip around and beat the crap out of stunt men in rubber monster suits. Anyway you look at it that was a true phenomenon at the time.

I remember that there was a time when it was deemed newsworthy when two Power Rangers, the black one and the yellow one, quit the show. In an interview one of the actors who quit said the reason was the fact that they couldn't handle the pressure and the stress of being a Power Ranger. Boo hoo hoo - what a jerk.

So what happens to someone after “The Power Rangers”?   Do they become nothing but nameless, faceless citizens on our streets? Who knows - the Blue Power Ranger could have been that guy who sold me a hot dog the other day outside of Price Choppers. But can you imagine being one of those actors - sitting in a bar somewhere thinking that ten years earlier you sold out stadiums and stared in hit movies saying things like, "you ooze. You lose," and now nobody knows who you are? How devastating. However, on the other hand, could you take yourself seriously as an actor if your claim to fame was as a former Power Ranger? For some reason I don't think Roman Polanski would be lining you up for his next film. You'd probably find yourself on the bench between the kid who played Ben on “Growing Pains” and forgotten teen idol Tommy Page.

So who and where are the Power Rangers today?  I decided to take a look.

Lets start with Austin St. John who played Jason, the original Red Ranger.  Austin St. John was never sure if he wanted to be a Power Ranger it seemed.  He quit the show many times.  The first time he quit the show was after season one, but came back later as the Gold Ranger.  He has also appeared in many of the films as well as spin off series as the same character.  Anyhow, after “The Power Rangers”,  St. John  wrote the book "Karate Warrior for Beginners" and made an exercise video titled "Karate Masters: Austin St. Johns Martial Arts Workout Video". Sounds kind of like Chuck Norris meets Richard Simmons doesn't it? He also apparently opened a dojo this summer. Well it’s good to see he’s following his dream as a ninja warrior. However, on the side of his professional ninja career St. John has taken time to make two minor appearances in a film called "Expose" in 1998 and a TV film, "Footsteps" in 2003.  However, it seems that after “The Power Rangers” Austin St. John decided that there is more to life than acting and has pursued martial arts.  However, it may not be long until we seem him back as a Power Ranger once again.

Now the most post Power Ranger success belongs to Amy Jo Johnson, actress that played Kimberly, the Pink Ranger. After “The Power Rangers” Amy Jo made a string of TV movies but finally landed a reoccurring role on the short lived, but cult favorite "Felicity" a few years back. She had bit parts on “ER” and “Spin City” as well. These days, however, Amy Jo is known best as a recording artist and you can visit her web-site here.   Amy Jo also played Janis Joplin in a theatrical production somewhere. Wow! Bet Janis was looking down from the heavens and enjoying every minute of that eh? If I am ever famous and I die and they decide to make a movie about my life I sure do hope maybe they can get the guy who played the Blue Power Ranger to play me! Maybe they can work the phrase "you ooze, you lose," into the script too!  Anyhow, Amy Jo still continues to make appearances in films today.

Next we come to Blue Power Ranger Billy, played by gymnast David Yost.  Yost is another one of the Power Rangers that can't help but come back to the series.  However, after “The Power Rangers” Yost went on to produce television programs and films.  Some of his films include "The Mary Kay Letourneau Story", "After Different Strokes: When the Laughter Stopped" (he also did a cameo as a Playboy photographer in this film), "Alien Hunter" and, most impressively, the reality program "Temptation Island."  Good to see that David Yost is doing more than selling hot dogs, way more.

Now what about Walter Jones, who wasn't only the token black character Zack but also played, obviously, the Black Ranger.  Like Amy Jo Johnson, Walter Jones has also stayed alive in Hollywood by taking on small television and film roles.  Since “The Power Rangers” Jones has appeared in television programs such as “Sabrina the Teenage Witch”, “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”, “NYPD Blue”, “CSI”, and had a reoccurring role of Rondell Robertson on “The Shield”.  However, these days Jones goes by the screen name Walter Emanuel Jones.  Jones has also done voice over in various video games.

Now, the member of the original Power Rangers that has had the hardest time escaping typecasting is the one that most kids considered to be the coolest member of the team - the green/white/gold/red Power Ranger Tommy, played by Jason David Frank.  For the exception of a few small film roles and a reoccurring role on "Sweet Valley High" while he was on “The Power Rangers”, Frank hasn't been able to get away from the Power Rangers franchise.  However, it’s not like he didn't try.  In 2002 he co-starred in a pilot for a medical drama called "The Residents of Washington Heights" with former "Facts of Life" star Kim "Tootie" Fields but it wasn't picked up.  Instead he rejoined the cast of the Power Rangers team.....again.  Jason David Frank may be cursed to play Tommy forever.

Finally we come to the most tragic of the original Power Rangers, Vietnamese actress Thuy Trang who played the Yellow Ranger.  Trang was the first of the Power Rangers to leave to pursue more serious roles.  After appearing in “Spy Hard”, and then a starring role in "The Crow: City of Angels", Trang was killed in a car crash in Los Angeles in 2001.  This not only ended her life, but a career that seemed to have some promise. 

Thus ends my search for the original Power Rangers.  Now, I must admit that I didn't search very hard or extensively because, well, I really don't care much.  Thus I may have missed a detail or two.  However, as we can see they are all still, more or less, working.  Good for them!  They may not be the idols of millions of elementary school kids anymore but they are still able to put food on the table.  Every acting credit counts

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