December 5th, 2005

THE LAST TIME I SAW CHRISTOPHER HEWITT:

A CHRISTMAS MEMORY THAT NEVER HAPPENED

The majestic sounds of Mario Lanza singing "I Walk With God" swam through my apartment on the dark snowy winter's night, as I poured steaming water from my kettle into a large mug, creating a fast, yet tasty, hot apple cider. Although the night was cold outside, inside my apartment it was warm and cozy.  Sipping my hot drink I wandered to my kitchen window. I pulled the curtains from the window and looked at the snowy white world below. In my front yard stood a lone figure. It was former "Mr. Belvedere" star Christopher Hewitt. He stood in my yard wearing nothing but white boxer shorts and a tie. As the fluffy white snowflakes danced around him and gently landed upon the world of white that surrounded him, Christopher Hewitt looked towards my window.  Seeing me he began to scream "YOU OWE ME!  YOU OWE ME!!!!!"  It was then that in the distance I could see a flashing red beacon approaching my house. Soon two police officers were wrestling Hewitt to the ground. I calmly watched as the officers handcuffed the rotund actor and then shoved him in the back of the cruiser. All the while Hewitt kept screaming and screaming. As the cruiser pulled out of my neighborhood I could swear I could still hear his rants. I never saw Christopher Hewitt again, but I did have a very happy holiday season.

Hope your holiday season has been as happy thus far.